once bitten

i've been saying for sometime now the first word calli would learn from me was going to be "bitch." hard hit on the b, drawn out i, and a nice finish on the tch. and it comes across as a heavy handed question. you know, "what the hell were you thinking" should be expressed when delivered correctly. the word, if used properly can be quite versatile. she could use it to adequately express her disdain for the nurses administering the many shots received during doctor visits or perhaps to assist me when dealing with lovely a-holes on the road. either way,the effectiveness of the word is immessureable. still, no other time seems as apt as the other day.

calli recently began an arduous journey into the world of daycare. much to our chagrin we did this because we had to. the first week roled by as expected. it was in the second that all our fears came to life. the sweet little girl, whom we thought had been adjusting quite well, reached out to a peer and yanked her "binky" from her mouth. i won't get into how inapproiate i think a "binky" is after the age of one but keep in mind it's been noted. so the girl, in her shocked state, grabed calli and bit the side of her face. i mean individual teeth marks still present by the time i picked her up at 430pm. the daycare tried to reach me twice and then finally spoke with hillary to inform us of the situation. apperently they were affraid of what my reaction would be if i didn't know in advance. i'm not sure what that means, but i guess i've left some kind of impression in the past.

with all that said, i wish she had already learned "bitch." could there ever be a better time for her to put it out there?

*this post is old but i felt it had to added. i will now get off my ass and post in a more timely manner... i promise... no really... i promise. however the pic is recent and pretty cute right?

with a mug like that...

i don't really have much to say about this pic, but i couldn't resist sharing this darling face with the world. when calli sees a camera this is what she gives them. quite cute don't you think?

well, the day we've been dreading has arrived. calli starts daycare tomorrow. we're not happy about the idea but we know it has to happen. we're siked however to see how she interacts with other kids. she's been around her own friends of course, but an entire class is a whole other world for her. will she be the shy baby off by herself? will she be the fat, happy baby making everyone laugh? or (god help us) will she be the baby who pushes, slaps and pinches anyone who invade her personal space? i'm reluctant to say i think she'll be the latter but at least the other kids will know how she rolls right? i guess this is where the real parenting begins. it keeps getting harder and harder but much more worth while at the same time. having children rocks!

how happy the holidays

a long time ago.... in a nicu far, far away (well, a little over a year and just up lamar blvd).... Calli met her bff... her best friend for life... the one who would keep her in trouble... in lots of trouble... the mighty giadalicious. since that fateful day (actually, after they were released from nicu prison and we were out of rsv quarantine) they have been attached at the hip. i really think they "know" each other. they smile and get so excited when the other comes in the room.

now, both big and strong (you'd never know by looking at them just how fragile they once were) they decided to take on "the man." that's right people. the jolly one himself. the great santa. at the sluaghter and 35 whataburger of course.

they figured what better way to capture the memories of their first "real" christmas than on santa's lap. oh how they loved every minute. all they can talk about now is when they can see him again.

these girls put everything in the right perspective. "just play and all is good."

the definition of "man" has been re-written?

what make a man? is it six feet in height and 180lbs of raw muscle? (thank you very much hollywood) or is it found in the relentless pursuit for your families safety? you be the judge.

my neighbor called to inform me that he had to kill a scorpion in his house. shit... shit... how many times does one man's "manhood" have to be tested before he's a man? i mean, how do i approach the situation, i'm obviously afraid of, when both my girls are around to witness my pussness? will i be able to produce like a "real" man? will i expose my girly side and scream? will the scorpion win?

(lightbulb above the head illuminates) score!!!

in the middle of my panic i remember a friend and fellow father-in-the-making had to deal with this same issue. i have provided his priceless advice.

I surveyed the area, made sure Gio and Giada were safe and then grabbed a shoe. I then approached with caution until I could strike. I looked that scorpion in the eye and made it say it's final goodbye. At that moment, I struck with the sole of that shoe..... and missed. What kind of husband/father misses the deadly scorpion in front of his family!!! Disgraced, I followed the scorpion until I struck it with enough blows that the swiffer would make easy work of it and just like that, the scorpion was dead and my pride restored... kind of.

Since this was obviously not the best approach for a number of reasons, we called in the terminator. It was expensive but I did not fine too many that were cheaper.

We use Bulwark and they spray every 2 months and come back for free if we still see them. it was around $400 a year. expensive but cheaper than getting bit or ruining any more of my shoes. : )

John

well, it's nice to see i'm not alone. i hope this advice will help the many "men" across the world just like me.

thanks john.

in conclusion, i have studied the facts provided and still believe a man is defined by hollywood. shit. well, that's life. at least we have something to strive for right?

one step... at a time... AND BEYOND(insert echo effect)

it looks like parenting isn't going to stop at me changing diapers and 430am bottles. no, that would be too easy. which leads to me removing my ass from the couch, setting aside my bar-tool and (gulp) getting a day job. the one thing i've been avoiding since age 18. i'm not exactly devistated by this just wondering where my life is headed. but not knowing is half the battle, right.

fuck that!

who wants to sit in an office and answer the phone for eight hours a day? well, i guess i do. you know, i sound a bit negative right now. i don't want to send the wrong message. i did choose to take the job. i had other options. i did turn them down. but damn, taking that first step is the hardest. how does one make the move into adulthood (at age 31) as smooth as possible? i guess you shut-up, grab your ass and run with it.

being a community player can't be all that bad.

i knew when it was time i would know it. and it's here. and i'm ready to be the best damn dad i can. day job and all.