the traveling gnome has been replaced

the ol'lady and i were kickin' around flickr the other day looking at entries for the word sophisticated and ran across this. pretty hilarious.

if you'll eat dog food, i'll give it to you

you always hear the stories of kids being finicky eaters--

"oh, you know little mikey. he'll only eat peas if they're 76.5 degrees-on the elmo plate-at the old wooden table in nana's front room-while watching thomas the tank engine-every other sunday-of odd months. isn't that cute?"

--and your own parents can typically dredge up some moment in your toddler life where you gave them hell when it came to eating. but still, in spite of all this, i never thought it could be as difficult as it is. right now. with my daughter. who refuses to eat anything.

ok, correction, she'll lick ketchup off just about any food item. she won't actually consume any part of the food item but she’ll definitely get every bit of the ketchup. I figure, hey, tomatoes are considered both a fruit and a vegetable so she's good. right?

everything i read or hear says it's just a phase. it'll pass. but when your in the moment it sucks ass and all i want her to do is eat something without some major exchange of tears and yells and emotions from all parties involved.

is that too much to ask?

apparently so.

it only takes 4 minutes to turn it all around

i work a lot.

a lot= one day off from both jobs and 3 days a week leave the house at 630am return around 1030-11pm. i'm pretty used to it. no big deal. it's just where we are in life right now. you gotta do what you gotta do. right? it'll all be worth it. some day. i know it. probably.

the only real problem is how much this keeps me away from the house. i see calli in the morning when i'm gathering my shit for the day and she's eating breakfast and that's it. it sucks and i feel like she notices. and really, as of late she been kind of a turd too.

it seems her entire vocabulary consists of the word no and she flings it around with such force it could be classified as a deadly weapon.

i usually come downstairs and try to talk to her about what she's eating and typically get 7 no's and then a nice whack in the face while giving her a kiss on the forehead. it sets my day up nicely and it takes all i have not to deliver a swift blow to the throat of every dumbass i encounter.

this morning, however, was different.

last night ended particularly late.

i work nights at a high-end local restaurant and we're pretty popular with the hollywood crowd. celebrities eat there on a regular basis when in town. last night we were lucky enough to have aly & aj in house with about 25 of their friends. i couldn't have pointed them out if my life were on the line but apparently they're a big deal. so this lasted a while and i finally crawled into bed just shy of midnight. 530 came a little to quickly and as the alarm hit my ear like a cathrine tramell ice pick it took all i had not to drop kick it out the window. but, as i was getting ready i heard the sweetest raspy morning voice.

tsaaaddy? tsaaaddy?

calli wanted to stop by and give me a squeeze and a kiss on her way to brush her hair. absolutely adorable.

once i made it downstairs i went to greet her and she let me hug her again and graciously accepted a peck on the cheek while smiling.

iz tsaddy. iz tsaddy.

the day was perking up. as i left the house she said good-bye, smiled and blew me a kiss.

even though i am far beyond tired--and i have to work tonight--and i have another double tomorrow--and brunch on sunday--and then monday night--and my day job week starts again on tuesday--and then... this made my day.

for the rest of my life.

how do you spell meme?

so, i've seen these "meme" things all around the interwebs and i think i kind of get what they are. not really though. i just hoped no one would ever hit me up with one because i knew i'd fail miserably--fall flat on my face--looking like a total ass--in the end, watching my rank drop yet again over at cre8buzz.

so much for avoiding one of these things. my cyber-buddy piper thought enough of me to include me in her last round of tagging. i got the hit last week and have been hiding from it ever since. but i figured what the hell, i'll humor her request and complete this thing. thanks pipe.

here goes nothing. this better set my karma straight!

Name one thing you do every day:
consume copious amounts of caffeine

Name 2 things you wish you could learn:
patience
origami

Name 3 things that remind you of your childhood:
the smell of pillsbury orange sweet rolls
roller skating rink
the electric company

Name 4 things you love to eat but rarely do:
fruity pebbles
med rare cowboy cut rib eye
key lime pie
pasta with vodka sauce


Name 5 things/people that make you feel good:
70 degree afternoons at the park with my daughter
a glass of wine with my wife on the couch
christmas eve with family
cutting the grass
easy:the commodores

well, i guess that wasn't so bad. the bruising was minimal and i'm only slightly out of breath. if i'm not mistaken i think i'm supposed to tag a certain amount of people with the same "meme", but i'll be nice and just hit up my fellow dad-blogger in vegas, jason. keep an eye on his site to see what he has to say.

feelin' the love from vegas

i have been away from the computer a few days and i'm not going to lie, it's been kind of nice. we went to houston to visit family and deal with a little business and not once did i log onto any of my many online communities nor did i visit any blogs. not even my own. and let me tell you, i'm so into me that i check my blog just about every 17 seconds. oddly enough, i didn't miss it.

with all that said, i received an email from my wife this morning telling me to check out a post by this great blogger i follow out in vegas.

Jason does some awesome work with his little space in the intewebs, and each week he does a bow (blog of the week). low and behold, this past week, he featured --drum roll please-- little ol' me. when i saw this i got all warm and fuzzy and felt thankful for the many great people offering up advice, anecdotes and just plain commiseration on the joys of raising kids. i couldn't thank jason enough for trying to send people my way. if you haven't been to jaosn's site get your ass over there... yesterday.

much thanks to jason and to everyone else taking the time to let me amuse you with with all my parenting joys and follies.