family-- they're not so bad

long ago i decided i would leave home and start my own life. with my own family in my own town with my own family traditions. not that there was anything wrong with where i was from or how i grew up. i had a great childhood. i think the male in me wanted to explore and conquer. whatever that means.

well, 13 years later i find myself in a totally different place altogether.

as a side note, i didn't get very far. i had these grand intentions of living in the big city or in foreign land where i couldn't speak the language but somehow i landed a mere 3 hours away from where i grew up. and there you have it.

so now i live in autsin with my wife of eight years and our 1.5 year old daughter. we love it here. then my parents and my wife and i bought a duplex together about 7 months ago. this was a big step. not only buying a place but having my parents share the space as well. keep in mind this is a second home for them so they are not here all the time. still, them is some close quarters if you don't have the right relationship. luckily we do and we have enjoyed every minute of it. the question now is how long before they make the move permanently and how will that change life? i have a feeling i'll be able to answer this very soon.

all this has made me realize the utter importance of family and i'm glad i ended up so close to "home."

no more mr. nice guy

reasoning with a 17 month old is a ridiculous notion. i get the idea behind this approach to parenting but in the end you're left with a defiant little bastard bundle of joy. i'm not about to break out the paddle but a loud stern voice seems to be working.

who the hell am i kidding? nothing works on these little shits darlings! she just keeps standing in the chair and pulling out the cds and messing with the tv and... when the hell does no start to work? someone help!

dance revolution

hell yes! the moment i have been waiting for has finally arrived . calli has started dancing. it's not much yet, but she hears the music and gets that's little bounce thing going. i have been working on the one-hand-in-the-air hip hop groove and she's getting that down. but the other night, we were watching american idol and she stopped playing to watch the show and started bouncing and waving her arms in the air. it totally kicked ass. as soon as i can figure out how to get the video online i'll add it.

time is the devil

i was reading a post from a friend of mine on bloggingbaby.com and it got me thinking. what's in a parent? what makes parent? who are parents?

i have been spending quite a bit of time away from the home lately. between overtime at work and preparing to open a play this week, any free time has been spent taking a deep breath and figuring out what's next. somewhere in the shuffle i am married and i do have a daughter. now, i haven't forgotten this, but i would like to find more moments where i could relish these two things that make life worth living. hillary and i had our 8th wedding anniversary this past wednesday and i can't even tell you for sure if we kissed let alone any activities requiring less clothing. so, i am making a vow to maximize the time i do have with my family because we all know that i won't slow down until i'm forced.

i do feel that the time i spend with calli is worth while. she will always know who i am and that i love her. so to answer my questions, i do have what's in a parent, i am what makes up a parent, and until i die, i will always be a parent. even though i have a lot going on it won't stop me from being a part of my family and balancing a life i can be proud of.

holy crap i just reread this post and i did vomit in my mouth a little. sorry i had to bore you with feelings but whatever.

no, no, noooo she's too young

i find it hard to believe that a person, a child, hell a baby can know how to work the "system" at the age of 15.5 months. to clarify, when i say system i'm referring to the institution of parenting. i am well aware that by age 13 one has the system down to a science. but a baby? seriously?



i think robert (our roommate) and i laughed for about 15 minutes the other night when calli began her life-long pursuit of testing me as a parent. at first my jaw was on the floor but then i thought, oh my god... she is smart (insert single tear about half way down my cheek). for so long hillary and i have said-- "well if nothing else our kids well be cute." now that's not us being too proud of the way we look, we just thought we needed something to justify how our kids were more than likely, not going ivy league.



so, robert and i were sitting on the couch watching my darling daughter roam the living room in search of any two things she could smash together. when from the corner of her eye she caught the light bouncing off the edge of an oh so tempting cd case. with all other thoughts and plans quickly forgotten, her only goal in life was to get there and grab hold of her favorite. beck midnight vultures. instead of getting off the couch i simply called her name in the hopes that she'd listen to me, see the wrong in what she was doing and turn to apologize.



yeah, you're right.



so i called her name again this time with that stern dad voice. again my attempts have apparently fallen on deaf ears. she finally reached the basket of cds and turned to look at robert and i. she then set up distraction with a smile and not so subtlety reached behind her back and grabbed a cd. i am completely shocked at this. how the hell does this child, who has been walking for maybe a month and a half and can barely say anything other than poop, know how to manipulate. i tried so hard to remain the parent but my efforts were useless. and we laughed. and we laughed. and we laughed. not laughter from the humor of the situation but rather "oh shit i cannot believe this"laughter. at that moment i saw myself... and my life became difficult.