man-o-man-o-man. my mother-in-law... whew... gotta love her.
i don't mean that from a logistical standpoint either. ie. because i'm married to her daughter i have to love her. i mean it from a this-woman-is-crazy-as-i-shake-my-head-at-her-humph-you-gotta-love-her standpoint. look, it would be easy to dismiss her (i'm pretty sure she thinks that's how i approach her anyway) and just say hello and goodbye and let that be it. but we have a pretty good relationship and every once in a while she'll throw an opinion out there (believe me she can throw'em) that it'll make me think. this type of rare occurrence happened the last time she was in town. twice.
(ok, i'm using my thick south-east texas twang because her's is amusingly thick)
1) "now, you know i was 32 when i had my youngest, right? you're behind."
this statement was in reference to my wife and the fact that she is now thirty and only has 1 child. so, according to my mother-in-law's math we should be knee deep in our second round of poop diapers, recycling baby #1 clothes with thoughts of the 3rd getting us giddy. but my wife and i decided we would wait till our first was at least 3 or 4 before we considered #2. we didn't want to be changing diapers for two babies and we figured if one could actually tell us what was wrong with'em we'd be that much further ahead of the curve. as one would imagine, this type of response went no where. no matter how i try to spin it, we're always going to be behind. but we're sticking to our guns on this one and we feel pretty good about it. i do however, get that ache when i see someone holding a tiny baby. i really miss those days. there's something comforting and warm about that. again, something i swore i would never say when i had kids... bleh.
(again with the thick south-east texas twang because her's is amusingly thick)
2) "i think you're different for the sake of being different."
this particular jewel was one of many interior decorating comments bestowed upon me by one said in-law.
ok, so, i hung this window pane in our study which i got from my folks house. an idea that both my sister and i stole from our mother. now, my mom and sister hung a wreath on theirs but i didn't. (insert in-law) according to my mother-in-law, if i did this, it would allow the white pane to not get so lost on the white wall. i told her: i didn't want to copy what they did-and-that i didn't understand why people would want to in the first place-and-that it looked absolutely fabulous as is-and-i'm always right. she said children take on certain traits (like decorating) from their parents because they're comfortable and familiar and that i just like being different. ok fair enough. i can see that and it made me step back for a moment. i have always been this way. from a very early age. but i haven't wanted to stand out or be different i just didn't want to be the same. who knows why or what any of this means i just know it's too easy to "go with flow". and truthfully, it really doesn't matter. but i guess i should be happy that i have someone to keep me thinking... right? in the end i did agree that something hanging on it would add a nice touch but i prefer things like that to be there for a reason. so we decided i would get a hat from her father and hang it on the corner. i thought that would make for a nice story if anyone ever asked. i like decorative items to be discussions pieces also or at least have meaning other than i got that at pottery barn.
seriously though, can i really trust the opinions of someone who still drinks tab soda?
reader: what did you just say?
me: yes, they still make tab soda.
11.27.2007
time out: man's greatest accomplishment to date
the era of time out has begun.
as i mentioned before, the "terrible twos" have set in and the limits of my abilities as a parent are being tested. and when i say tested i'm talking final-chapter-of-any-harry-potter-book-where-voldemort-is-about-2-seconds-from-ending-h. potter-as-we-know-it tested. specifically my abilities to keep my cool and not flip out when i have to tell her for the 37th time not get on the stairs or not stand on the car or not walk on the books or not pull the dog's tail or not --this really could go on for days. so in order to keep sanity in place we have introduced time out.
holy shit! the greatest invention since the wheel sandwich on sliced bread!
my wife used it for the first time on sunday and after two 1 minute stints in t/o she got the idea. when i stayed home with her on monday i threw it out a couple of times and you'd think i was threatening to take her out in the middle of west texas only to leave her to fend for herself till the end of time. she immediately stopped what she was doing wrong to go carry on a conversation with some sorta stuffed whatever that obviously served as a better playmate then me. i couldn't believe it.
hell yeah! t/o kicks ass!
as i mentioned before, the "terrible twos" have set in and the limits of my abilities as a parent are being tested. and when i say tested i'm talking final-chapter-of-any-harry-potter-book-where-voldemort-is-about-2-seconds-from-ending-h. potter-as-we-know-it tested. specifically my abilities to keep my cool and not flip out when i have to tell her for the 37th time not get on the stairs or not stand on the car or not walk on the books or not pull the dog's tail or not --this really could go on for days. so in order to keep sanity in place we have introduced time out.
holy shit! the greatest invention since the wheel sandwich on sliced bread!
my wife used it for the first time on sunday and after two 1 minute stints in t/o she got the idea. when i stayed home with her on monday i threw it out a couple of times and you'd think i was threatening to take her out in the middle of west texas only to leave her to fend for herself till the end of time. she immediately stopped what she was doing wrong to go carry on a conversation with some sorta stuffed whatever that obviously served as a better playmate then me. i couldn't believe it.
hell yeah! t/o kicks ass!
11.24.2007
daughter turning 2 = having to be a parent... for real this time
apparently my daughter has turned two. why do i know this? well... pretty much because she has become a turd extremely hard to deal with over the past... oh, i don't know... 3 fucking days. she has only been two for three days and it's already happening.
at first i found this hard to believe. when i called my wife between jobs the other day and she said she hit the "terrible twos". i shrugged it off as she's tired or her last two teeth were coming or whatever but not this whole "terrible two" bullshit. then i saw it with my own eyes.
slapping, kicking, pulling and that was only the dogs. she responded to everything with an adamant round of no-no-no, screamed when i tried to touch her and would not stay away from the damn stairs. if someone hadn't noticed her on the stairs she would make some noise till she received acknowledgment and then your eyes would meet and she would smile. like-- "hey, look at me and by the way, this is my middle finger for your authority." whomever was close would go through the motions and pull her off as she flailed and screamed no. the whole display was rather embarrassing. but isn't that what thanksgiving is all about? family.
when i step back and look at the entire situation i feel sort of bad for her. it seems that with this age comes a strong push towards independence. i think that's what makes it so "terrible". they want to do everything on they're own but can hardly do anything with out you. it makes for a pretty lethal combination if you're not in the proper mind frame.
and to think... up until now i thought i was parenting.
at first i found this hard to believe. when i called my wife between jobs the other day and she said she hit the "terrible twos". i shrugged it off as she's tired or her last two teeth were coming or whatever but not this whole "terrible two" bullshit. then i saw it with my own eyes.
slapping, kicking, pulling and that was only the dogs. she responded to everything with an adamant round of no-no-no, screamed when i tried to touch her and would not stay away from the damn stairs. if someone hadn't noticed her on the stairs she would make some noise till she received acknowledgment and then your eyes would meet and she would smile. like-- "hey, look at me and by the way, this is my middle finger for your authority." whomever was close would go through the motions and pull her off as she flailed and screamed no. the whole display was rather embarrassing. but isn't that what thanksgiving is all about? family.
when i step back and look at the entire situation i feel sort of bad for her. it seems that with this age comes a strong push towards independence. i think that's what makes it so "terrible". they want to do everything on they're own but can hardly do anything with out you. it makes for a pretty lethal combination if you're not in the proper mind frame.
and to think... up until now i thought i was parenting.
11.21.2007
21 november 2007
callia,
two years have come and gone faster than i could have ever imagined. happy birthday to you.
there's so much i want to say but i don't really know where to begin.
well... how about --- you're freakin' crazy. out of everything, this has got to be my favorite. i love to watch you grab life by the balls and just go-go-go. it must be some trust thing you have for your mama and me but you don't give a damn and somehow know we'll be there to catch you. you do what you want-when you want-how you want and it's hilarious to watch. i promise i do all i can to make sure you never lose this.
not only are you a complete nut, you are absolutely the sweetest thing. people love being around you and i know you occupy a special place in many hearts.
i'm not gonna lie and say that things have always been a bowl of chubby hubby, in fact it's been a bowl of soggy dog crap a couple of times, but never have i not loved my life in the last two years. not to get all sappy-pappy but you get me out of bed each morning. i know that no matter how shitty the day's been i can go home to you and-the clouds part-and-the rain stops-and-your halo shines bright-and-birds sing-and you get the point. i can crawl around on the floor with you and nothing else matters. i couldn't thank you enough for that.
you're a special little girl calli. i can't wait to see what you do next.
i love you and will always be here for you.
happy birthday callia.
love,
daddy
two years have come and gone faster than i could have ever imagined. happy birthday to you.
there's so much i want to say but i don't really know where to begin.
well... how about --- you're freakin' crazy. out of everything, this has got to be my favorite. i love to watch you grab life by the balls and just go-go-go. it must be some trust thing you have for your mama and me but you don't give a damn and somehow know we'll be there to catch you. you do what you want-when you want-how you want and it's hilarious to watch. i promise i do all i can to make sure you never lose this.
not only are you a complete nut, you are absolutely the sweetest thing. people love being around you and i know you occupy a special place in many hearts.
i'm not gonna lie and say that things have always been a bowl of chubby hubby, in fact it's been a bowl of soggy dog crap a couple of times, but never have i not loved my life in the last two years. not to get all sappy-pappy but you get me out of bed each morning. i know that no matter how shitty the day's been i can go home to you and-the clouds part-and-the rain stops-and-your halo shines bright-and-birds sing-and you get the point. i can crawl around on the floor with you and nothing else matters. i couldn't thank you enough for that.
you're a special little girl calli. i can't wait to see what you do next.
i love you and will always be here for you.
happy birthday callia.
love,
daddy
11.20.2007
birthday party 2.0: done
well, the second birthday party has come and gone and from the responses i received, i have to say it seemed to be a success.
we went with a dance party theme. no particular era just dance in general.
we through up a slew of gaudy metallic decorations, plugged in couple of colored lights and a strobe, put out a dance floor and compiled the best dance mix from the last 4 decades you've ever heard. we hit the brick house, dropped it like it was hot and definitely brought sexy back. the kids seemed to have a pretty good time. there wasn't much dancing, sadly, but what could we have expected with a bunch of 2 year old kids? plus , i left out all of calli's toys and that was obviously a mistake.
i'm afraid this theme will be hard to top but we do have a year to try and out do ourselves. between now and then, i have to figure out how to get a trapeze, shark tank and that really cool ball-cage-thingy the guy on the motorcycle rides around in in my living room.
any suggestions?
we went with a dance party theme. no particular era just dance in general.
we through up a slew of gaudy metallic decorations, plugged in couple of colored lights and a strobe, put out a dance floor and compiled the best dance mix from the last 4 decades you've ever heard. we hit the brick house, dropped it like it was hot and definitely brought sexy back. the kids seemed to have a pretty good time. there wasn't much dancing, sadly, but what could we have expected with a bunch of 2 year old kids? plus , i left out all of calli's toys and that was obviously a mistake.
i'm afraid this theme will be hard to top but we do have a year to try and out do ourselves. between now and then, i have to figure out how to get a trapeze, shark tank and that really cool ball-cage-thingy the guy on the motorcycle rides around in in my living room.
any suggestions?
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