how happy the holidays

a long time ago.... in a nicu far, far away (well, a little over a year and just up lamar blvd).... Calli met her bff... her best friend for life... the one who would keep her in trouble... in lots of trouble... the mighty giadalicious. since that fateful day (actually, after they were released from nicu prison and we were out of rsv quarantine) they have been attached at the hip. i really think they "know" each other. they smile and get so excited when the other comes in the room.

now, both big and strong (you'd never know by looking at them just how fragile they once were) they decided to take on "the man." that's right people. the jolly one himself. the great santa. at the sluaghter and 35 whataburger of course.

they figured what better way to capture the memories of their first "real" christmas than on santa's lap. oh how they loved every minute. all they can talk about now is when they can see him again.

these girls put everything in the right perspective. "just play and all is good."

the definition of "man" has been re-written?

what make a man? is it six feet in height and 180lbs of raw muscle? (thank you very much hollywood) or is it found in the relentless pursuit for your families safety? you be the judge.

my neighbor called to inform me that he had to kill a scorpion in his house. shit... shit... how many times does one man's "manhood" have to be tested before he's a man? i mean, how do i approach the situation, i'm obviously afraid of, when both my girls are around to witness my pussness? will i be able to produce like a "real" man? will i expose my girly side and scream? will the scorpion win?

(lightbulb above the head illuminates) score!!!

in the middle of my panic i remember a friend and fellow father-in-the-making had to deal with this same issue. i have provided his priceless advice.

I surveyed the area, made sure Gio and Giada were safe and then grabbed a shoe. I then approached with caution until I could strike. I looked that scorpion in the eye and made it say it's final goodbye. At that moment, I struck with the sole of that shoe..... and missed. What kind of husband/father misses the deadly scorpion in front of his family!!! Disgraced, I followed the scorpion until I struck it with enough blows that the swiffer would make easy work of it and just like that, the scorpion was dead and my pride restored... kind of.

Since this was obviously not the best approach for a number of reasons, we called in the terminator. It was expensive but I did not fine too many that were cheaper.

We use Bulwark and they spray every 2 months and come back for free if we still see them. it was around $400 a year. expensive but cheaper than getting bit or ruining any more of my shoes. : )


well, it's nice to see i'm not alone. i hope this advice will help the many "men" across the world just like me.

thanks john.

in conclusion, i have studied the facts provided and still believe a man is defined by hollywood. shit. well, that's life. at least we have something to strive for right?