and the father of the year award goes to...

holy shit! me!

i can't believe this.

i want to thank you all.

the hollywood foreign press--

my lovely wife--

my daughter...

speaking of my daughter, i could not have even been considered for this award without her.

what's that? of course i'll explain.

the other day i was getting ready for work and calli was in the bathroom with me. you see, she loves going into the water closet and pulling out all my heavy reading material (because that's where magazines are kept right? at least in our house. for obvious reasons.) and flinging them about the bathroom. that day she started this new game of going in and shutting the door. then i would call out--

"where's calli?"

and she'd pop out with an ear to ear grin.

--keep in mind i'm in the shower at this point--

i watch her head in for another round except this time the door handle attempts to turn but doesn't open. so i call again and still the same. fuck... she's locked herself in there. and of course i'm in the middle of the cleaning process, soap everywhere, water closet door handle furiously shaking, damn. i did what i could to get out quickly and went to the door. sure enough it was locked. i knocked on the door and she replied--

"who is it?"

"honey, it's daddy. try to turn the lock."

as if she knew what the hell i was talking about. at this point, i envision her reaching into the toilet and drinking from her hand. because that the kind of thing that kid would probably do.

we go back and forth for a couple of minutes and get nowhere. then i think to myself try a key dumbass. of course my keys were downstairs, not that i have a key to these doors but i was willing to try anything.

"calli... i'll be right back don't touch anything."

and again the handle jiggles. i can tell she's getting frustrated. after getting my keys i try to get one in and as expected they don't fit but luckily it only took a simple turn and the door came unlocked. she busted out smiling and laughing while i stood there in a towel, dripping wet, half soaped up, panting.

i'm thinking we may need to add another room onto the house just to display all my parenting awards.

i freaking love this job.