this day doesn't normally stand out to me. generally it comes in as a punchline to some joke about a guy like me ever being in the military. but today, since i'm stuck at work, i've thought about it a little more.
it is weird that a guy like me was ever in the military and when i do mention it to people it really throws them for a loop. especially when i tell them i served for 7 years. 4 active duty air force and 3 texas air national guard. i didn't take part in any war time situations but there were real life scares while i was stationed in kuwait.
when i look back on my time in the service i smile. i did a ton of go growing up in the military and learned quite a bit about who i am. i used to think i joined out of confusion and a willingness to shock the norm but now when i look back i think i made a much smarter decision than that. i knew i would never make it in the college world right out of high school so this was by far the best decision for a person at my age and position in life.
calli will never know me as that person but she will know of that person and i'm certain a lot of that person will shape the girl/women she will become.
so for that i salute all the men and women who have served and myself ---proudly.
11.11.2007
11.09.2007
oooohhh that's right, i am married
it may sound cheese and mushy but i'm married to my best friend. we met in middle school, stayed friends over the years and have now been married 8.5 years. easy enough. how could i forget that, right? well, i did and another issue has come up in which i said i would never let this happen when i had kids.
it seems this list (of things i would not do as a parent) continues to grow at a pretty alarming rate. it's actually quite embarrassing. i've never eaten so much humble pie in my entire life as i have in the past 2 years. i guess it comes with the territory sort of like poop under the fingernails.
"i will never tell people they'll understand when they have kids."
"i will never have conversations involving nothing but poop diapers."
"i will never let my child sleep in my bed."
the list could go on but for the purposes of this post i will end it with:
"i will never forget that i'm married".
for the most part this has not been an issue. but since starting this second job, i haven't been around the house much. and the time i have, i'm usually thinking about calli and wanting to see her and hold her and kiss her and... you get it. so, this issue became painfully obvious when my wife had to point out to me how i mentioned i was sad about my daughter leaving for the weekend but not her.
if you look to the left i have a sidebar feature that allows me to update what i'm doing at any moment-anywhere-anytime through twitter. (i'm still not sure what the point of this is other than because i can but that's neither here nor there.) i updated this this morning, mentioning how i was sad about my daughter leaving and as you can see i had to go back and include my wife in a seperate update. that was more or less for her benefit and it gave me a good laugh but it did make me think for a moment.
i realized that as of late i had been unconsciously giving all my attention to my daughter. i think it's easier to assume my wife knows how i feel and my daughter must be shown. this makes sense to me but by no means is it an excuse. i really felt bad. but this does seems to be the case in many relationships. i will however do what i can to see that this doesn't happen again.
mainly because i don't want to deal with all the "what about your wife" emails.
it seems this list (of things i would not do as a parent) continues to grow at a pretty alarming rate. it's actually quite embarrassing. i've never eaten so much humble pie in my entire life as i have in the past 2 years. i guess it comes with the territory sort of like poop under the fingernails.
"i will never tell people they'll understand when they have kids."
"i will never have conversations involving nothing but poop diapers."
"i will never let my child sleep in my bed."
the list could go on but for the purposes of this post i will end it with:
"i will never forget that i'm married".
for the most part this has not been an issue. but since starting this second job, i haven't been around the house much. and the time i have, i'm usually thinking about calli and wanting to see her and hold her and kiss her and... you get it. so, this issue became painfully obvious when my wife had to point out to me how i mentioned i was sad about my daughter leaving for the weekend but not her.
if you look to the left i have a sidebar feature that allows me to update what i'm doing at any moment-anywhere-anytime through twitter. (i'm still not sure what the point of this is other than because i can but that's neither here nor there.) i updated this this morning, mentioning how i was sad about my daughter leaving and as you can see i had to go back and include my wife in a seperate update. that was more or less for her benefit and it gave me a good laugh but it did make me think for a moment.
i realized that as of late i had been unconsciously giving all my attention to my daughter. i think it's easier to assume my wife knows how i feel and my daughter must be shown. this makes sense to me but by no means is it an excuse. i really felt bad. but this does seems to be the case in many relationships. i will however do what i can to see that this doesn't happen again.
mainly because i don't want to deal with all the "what about your wife" emails.
11.08.2007
busy busy busy second job-head is spining-so tired-what day of the week is it?
well, i had my first shift out of training last night and holy shit i got my ass handed to me in pile of mole sauce with a side of whipped black beans.
i could not believe how crazy the restaurant got. not only was it my first night i worked cocktail as well. that may not sound like much, but during the week, they serve the full menu in the lounge. i had 8 tables in my section and it was about 8 too many. i'm not one who usually struggles in these types of situations so the unfamiliar territory through me off. the bar couldn't get a drink made in under 10 min and the guest wouldn't wait longer that 4. it made for a deadly combination. i remember stopping --clearly when i had no time at all to stop-- and thinking "damn my mouth is dry... i think i'm gonna throw-up". yeah. that bad. like any situation, i made it through it, eventually, able to look back and learn. sorta. i guess more or less what not to do.
i'm back at it again tonight. in the same section. i'm sure it'll go better than last night but i'm not counting on a smooth flight. still i have to push though and get these growing pains behind me. plus the freakin' money is ridiculous and it's all for calli. right?
i could not believe how crazy the restaurant got. not only was it my first night i worked cocktail as well. that may not sound like much, but during the week, they serve the full menu in the lounge. i had 8 tables in my section and it was about 8 too many. i'm not one who usually struggles in these types of situations so the unfamiliar territory through me off. the bar couldn't get a drink made in under 10 min and the guest wouldn't wait longer that 4. it made for a deadly combination. i remember stopping --clearly when i had no time at all to stop-- and thinking "damn my mouth is dry... i think i'm gonna throw-up". yeah. that bad. like any situation, i made it through it, eventually, able to look back and learn. sorta. i guess more or less what not to do.
i'm back at it again tonight. in the same section. i'm sure it'll go better than last night but i'm not counting on a smooth flight. still i have to push though and get these growing pains behind me. plus the freakin' money is ridiculous and it's all for calli. right?
11.06.2007
bye, bye penny... i'll miss you
everyone knows i'm not much of a pet person. although it seems i should be from the way i attract every animal within a five mile radius. but, i think it's pretty much due to the fact that i'm lazy. i don't' really want to keep up with a pet. there's this whole responsibility aspect that i have no desire to be a part of. hell, every plant i've owned has died within about a week and i would really hate to see what i might do with an animal. i'm still floored every morning i wake up and realize i have a kid. it's that whole half-asleep-what's-kicking-me-in-the-head-holy-shit-i-have-a-kid thing. as of right now, things seem to have worked out fine and that in itself amazes me. i thought for sure she would be ruined by now.
get back to me when she's a teen.
anyway, i'm feeling a little sad today because my mom is having to put one of our family cats down this afternoon.
from what i can remember, we have always had cats around the house. for some reason my folks loved to rescue cats from workplace parking lots, the grocery store or some random location where a cat should not have been in the first place. penny happened to be an offspring of one of these particular finds.
she was born when i was in high school so she's been around some 15 years. her health is pretty horrible right now and it's been falling for quite a while. we all know this is the right thing to do but that doesn't make it any easier. i may have bitched about her over the years --pretty much because i had to shovel her shit on a daily basis-- but i'm realizing today she meant something to me.
this has made me step back and think of her which made me think about how i did enjoy having her around. you see, i spent a lot of time grounded in high school and she made me feel not so alone while i got to know the inside of our house. really well.
i truly will miss her.
on a side note
it seems that with kids come pets and i won't be "that" parent who denies their children pets if they really want them. but i can assure you the type of pets i'm willing to own (and take care of because that's how it works) are not many. right now, it's fish. i don't see that changing any time soon.
sorry calli.
get back to me when she's a teen.
anyway, i'm feeling a little sad today because my mom is having to put one of our family cats down this afternoon.
from what i can remember, we have always had cats around the house. for some reason my folks loved to rescue cats from workplace parking lots, the grocery store or some random location where a cat should not have been in the first place. penny happened to be an offspring of one of these particular finds.
she was born when i was in high school so she's been around some 15 years. her health is pretty horrible right now and it's been falling for quite a while. we all know this is the right thing to do but that doesn't make it any easier. i may have bitched about her over the years --pretty much because i had to shovel her shit on a daily basis-- but i'm realizing today she meant something to me.
this has made me step back and think of her which made me think about how i did enjoy having her around. you see, i spent a lot of time grounded in high school and she made me feel not so alone while i got to know the inside of our house. really well.
i truly will miss her.
on a side note
it seems that with kids come pets and i won't be "that" parent who denies their children pets if they really want them. but i can assure you the type of pets i'm willing to own (and take care of because that's how it works) are not many. right now, it's fish. i don't see that changing any time soon.
sorry calli.
11.01.2007
baby bunch halloween 2.0
we have this great group of friends who all have kids around the same age and we call it the baby bunch. we hang and let the kids run all over each other, swap illnesses and you know, bound on that the rug-rat level. well, this year marked the 2nd halloween that we all spent together. and i think it's becoming a tradition. pizza, beer, cookies and all other things halloween. the host of the event tried to extend the invite to a hand full of other couples with kids but they all bagged on us and we ended up with the same group as last year. but i have to tell you, we seemed better for it. the only other non-baby bunch attendees were my folks, my sister and her better half. but the four of them are at everything anyway. i have a very young family so my friends always love having them around.i'm not quite sure i can honestly say "another successful halloween down". i will say however, we made a giant leap in the right direction compared to the constant crying from the moment calli donned her costume that we experienced last year. but to claim victory would only be a lie. she did enjoy herself --for the most part-- and we were able to contain the crying to small isolated moments. the moments between the wagon and the front door. the most important moments.
she hopped out of the wagon and made her way up the driveway and as soon as she saw the generous person handing over the treats she turned running back to the wagon adamantly exclaiming--
"no! no! no! no! no!"
"calli... why are you saying no?"
"no! no! no! no! no!"
"whatever."
so much for the candy i would enjoy for the next month and a half. as a parent, this is one of the best times of the year. i can indulge in all the candy i would never normally buy without any of the guilt. i think we managed about 6 pieces in all. pretty much a bust if you ask me.
the rest of the baby bunch seemed to have a solid grasp on the door to door concept. my daughter, not so much. she happily sat in the wagon while her paypaw pulled her up and down the streets. i will say she looked damn cute doing it.
over all, the event went well. but next year we are not going out like this. there will be blood, sweat and tears lost between now and then to get this down. i will not have these other dads reaping the rewards of pimping their kids out for the sweet-tooth satisfaction more than me. again.
baby bunch halloween 3.0... here we come!
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